I've been wondering a lot lately why I turn to food so much for comfort. I know that I'm overweight and that's a primary reason, but why do I do it?
One of my favorite TV shows is The Biggest Loser. I find it inspiring because it helps so many people who have struggled with their weight to shed those unwanted pounds and literally transform their lives. If you've watched the show, you've probably noticed the same trend that I have. Nearly every contestant has suffered some kind of trauma or abuse.
60% of Americans suffered from abused during childhood
In this Reuters article citing the Centers for Disease Control, "Almost 60 percent of Americans surveyed say they suffered at least one form of physical or emotional abuse or other adversity in their childhoods." In 1989, the New York Times published this article stating that 1 in 3 abused children grow up to become abusers themselves. While these are sad statistics, I think the actual numbers are far worse.
As I go through my daily life, I see more and more people like me who are struggling with their weight. Because of this I've formed the opinion that not all abuse is directed at others. We've found different coping mechanisms from over-eating to alcoholism, to drug abuse. There are also combinations of these which can also result in turning the feelings we have that linger from our own abuses toward others which just carries on the generational abuse that is so evident in our society.
How does abuse manifest?
The aftermath of abuse can result in many different conditions. Of those conditions, each can be manifested in a variety of ways. There is a fantastic publication from the Child Welfare Department which goes into much more detail, so in summary, some of the more common conditions include:
Fear
Distrust
Low Self-Esteem
Depression
Difficulty Forming and Maintaining Relationships
Reduced Cognitive Functioning
Just like what we see in The Biggest Loser, some of these conditions may result in behavioral changes, such as over-eating. However, they can also present in other behaviors as well. These can include:
Self-Harm (cutting, piercing one's self, hitting or punching things, burning, breaking bones, suicide)
Substance Abuse (Drugs and Alcohol)
Unhealthy Sexual Practices
Reclusiveness
Aggressive behavior
Criminal Tendencies
These conditions and behaviors ultimately turn into health conditions. These can come in a wide array of forms from headaches, high blood pressure and malnutrition, to heart attacks, cancer, and even brain damage.
Don't misunderstand me here. Not all abuse comes with negative behaviors. Some people go in the exact opposite direction as well. Some people spend all of their free time in the gym. Others become so obsessed with diet that it becomes toxic in their relationships. While others still turn to their careers at the expense of their families.
So what can I do?
Statistically, there are good odds that you were a victim of some kind of abuse during your developmental years. Or maybe it came later in life due to a bad relationship. Maybe you were fortunate to bypass all of those, but you were involved in a traumatic event such as a military engagement or an auto accident or home invasion.
Regardless of how you arrived at the place you are today, you are not doomed to suffer with these consequences forever. I read a book recently called "The Body Keeps the Score" by Bessel A. van der Kolk that discusses different types of trauma, how they present in our bodies, and some of the different treatment options that are available to help us cope with our pasts more effectively.
There have been many innovations in psychological medicine, and seeking help does not mean that you are showing weakness. Just the opposite, in fact. By getting help to resolve the issues you're facing means that you are strong enough to change the generational issues in your families. It means that you have the courage to tackle your demons and become better for your loved ones. In getting appropriate help, you may also be saving your own life by removing that urge to overeat, cut yourself, or lash out in irrational anger towards others. You'll be putting yourself into a position that change the world around you.
If you've read up to this point, I must have resonated with you at some level. Yes, I have sought help and have worked through many of the issues that I grew up with. It's a long road ahead, and I want to ensure that I'm the best version of myself I can be for my children and grandchildren. It's also helping me to reduce the need to overeat, and it's allowing me to heal the relationships that most need healing in my own life.
I would love to hear your success story as well. Your success is my inspiration. We can do this together!
About the Author:
JP Bachmann began his professional career in electrical automation, and transitioned into professional sales in the IT industry in 2016. He is now a national sales leader specializing in account success and company growth. JP was awarded a Business Coaching certification in 2019, and has helped to lead the Toastmasters International volunteer organization by serving as a District Director in Colorado and Wyoming from 2022 to 2023 serving 140 independent clubs and 2000 members. In 2023, JP founded TheDashLegacy.net which is devoted to enriching the personal and professional lives of those around him through continuous growth, humor, and thought leadership. JP is a professional speaker focused on Career Health, and leads workshops helping people develop career and personal goals using his own unique goalsetting method. Connect with JP by emailing him at jp@thedashlegacy.net
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