If I asked you to list your top 10 fears, I'm sure we'd find some fears that are not life threatening. While there are certainly things that could seriously harm or even kill you, such as drowning, falling, or predators, there are also plenty of fears that are simply imagined. It's a fairly common -- though possibly misguided -- belief that the three biggest fears of people are heights, death, and public speaking. If that's the case, the worst thing that could happen to a person is that they'd have to speak in front of an audience on a tall stage, then fall off and die.
Though it's easy to argue that death is a valid fear, what about heights and public speaking? Heights don't kill you. It's the sudden stop at the end of the fall that does the most harm. The simple solution here is to not fall.
When I was 8 years old I fell out of a very tall tree. By all rights I should not have survived that fall. Ever since then I haven't been able to climb trees, and I've gained a serious respect for heights. I know now that there were several things that went wrong for me all those years ago and how I can protect myself from that danger now, but the idea of climbing a tree still sends ice down my spine.
For many years I had to face my fear of heights at work. I wasn't happy about it, but I took many precautions such as climbing harnesses, safety lanyards and bosun chairs to make sure that if I had lost my footing that no hard would have come to me. Did that mean my fear went away? No. I just weighed my options and made the decision to face that fear.
How about public speaking? Other than a few odd political figures that got assassinated throughout world history, the odds of actually dying while giving a speech is incredibly low. Most people know that they won't die -- despite what they might say in desperation -- if they have to speak in front of an audience. So why is it so terrifying for so many people?
The late Dr. Susan Jeffers wrote a book that quite possibly has a perfect title. It's called "Feel the Fear, and Do it Anyway." If you haven't read it, I highly recommend it. In this book, Jeffers discusses the fact that many of our fears are simply imagined. Although they present themselves in our bodies like actual life-threatening situations (increased heart rate, dilated eyes, a nice little cortisol dump in our bloodstream), there is no actual danger in them.
Does this mean that all fear is imaginary? If you thought you could run up on a grizzly bear without risking your life you'd be a fool. There are definitely some things in life that are dangerous which is why we have the fear instinct in the first place. When our species was still living in caves there was an ever present threat of lions, tigers, and bears... oh my! But now that we spend most of our lives in buildings made from metal and wood those threats have been all but eliminated.
Even though the physical threats have largely been removed, the fight or flight response is still alive and well in our bodies. It's now that most of the time we experience the stress and anxiety of fear, it's generated by imagined threats. In fact, this happens so much that our bodies lose the ability to heal themselves so we develop conditions like peptic ulcers, tension headaches, and heart disease.
Stop giving the bear your microphone.
It's time for you to get in touch with your emotions. This is not a therapy session (though I do recommend those if you have trouble with the next steps here), but I can't highlight enough the importance of raising your awareness of what you're feeing in the moment. Understanding that things like being asked to speak in front of a group is not the same as a true life-threatening event. It's time to stop giving the bear your microphone.
In those moments when you start feeling anxiety, worry, doubt and fear, it's ok to acknowledge that you're feeling those emotions. However, what you do next is key. Set the fear aside and move forward. I close my eyes and think of a food container, and I imagine picking up the thing that is causing me that feeling of fear or worry, and I put it inside of that container, slap a lid on it, and put it on a shelf. Once I've done that I make the phone call, pick up the microphone, or climb that ladder to get the job done. I'm still not climbing any trees though.
Imagine what your life would look like if your imagined fears didn't hold you back. What could you do? Would you have a different job? Would you live somewhere else? Would you eat healthier or exercise more? Think about it, then take action. Put your worries, doubts, and fears aside and become the person you have trapped inside. Just don't go charging into any bear dens, because I'd love to see who you become.
About the Author:
JP Bachmann began his professional career in electrical automation, and transitioned into professional sales in the IT industry in 2016. He is now a national sales leader specializing in account success and company growth. JP was awarded a Business Coaching certification in 2019, and has helped to lead the Toastmasters International volunteer organization by serving as a District Director in Colorado and Wyoming from 2022 to 2023 serving 140 independent clubs and 2000 members. In 2023, JP founded TheDashLegacy.net which is devoted to enriching the personal and professional lives of those around him through continuous growth, humor, and thought leadership. JP is a professional speaker focused on Career Health, and leads workshops helping people develop career and personal goals using his own unique goalsetting method. Connect with JP by emailing him at jp@thedashlegacy.net
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